


Last Day in Paradise (Learning You With My Senses)

by EverShadow



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverShadow/pseuds/EverShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Ashlyn's last day in the states before she ships back to Germany. It's all Ali can do to imprint everything about her before she leaves. (Takes place during Ashlyn's vacation over the winter of 2012-13).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Day in Paradise (Learning You With My Senses)

Ali's “Liebe" tattoo is the first thing Ashlyn sees when she wakes up in the morning. Her arm, tucked securely under Ashlyn's neck and outstretched, keeps Ashlyn cradled against her chest. She presses her lips to the word and Ali stirs in her sleep and wraps Ashlyn tightly.

"Ich liebe..." she murmurs into the tangle of Ashlyn's hair.

"Dich?" Ashlyn finishes for her with a smile.

"Pfannkuchen." She grins and Ashlyn laughs in disbelief.

"I see how it is." She jokingly tries to pry Ali's arms off of her but she grips tighter. "I'm getting up to make you your beloved pfannkuchen." The words work like magic and Ali releases her with a sigh and Ashlyn slips out of bed. She collects her clothes - just her boxers and a shirt to protect her body from spurting oil - and shuffles into the kitchen.

Ali's home reminds her of Germany, and Ashlyn's heart sinks a little because of it. She's brought all of her belongings here, and with them scattered around, it makes it clear Ali's staying in the states for good. She focuses on tying the apron securely around her waist and making pancakes for her princess.

The smell and sound of fresh batter sizzling in the pan rouses Ali from her slumber. She stretches lazily and smiles sleepily. She looks around for anything that might save her neighbors from viewing what only Ashlyn gets to see. She grabs the nearest article of clothing, Ashlyn’s lacrosse jersey and sweatpants, and slips into them. Ashlyn is whistling and flipping pancakes expertly when Ali stumbles into the room. Her hair is a complete bird’s nest of a mess, and her drowsy smile distracts Ashlyn long enough that she completely misses catching the pancake.

“Jesus.” Ashlyn drops to the ground and attempts to pick it up, only succeeding in burning her hands. Ali giggles at her desperate attempts to clean up her mess. “Hey, it’s your fault, you can’t just come in here looking...looking all sexy in my clothes, ok?”

“Mmm, noted.” Ali purrs. She lets her hands find each other around Ashlyn’s waist and she presses her chest up against her back.

“I’m cooking, princess.” Ashlyn says, pouring another circle of batter into the hot pan. She tilts her head and kisses Ali right on the nose. Ali’s right hand creeps up Ashlyn’s shirt, finding the space between the hem and her apron. Her other hand gives Ashlyn’s ass a firm squeeze. Ashlyn yelps, almost dropping the pan entirely and Ali giggles into her shoulder.

“You sure you want to keep doing that...?” She murmurs suggestively into her ear. “I want you.”

“I’m cooking! Hot things!” Ashlyn yells and Ali removes her hands, putting them in the air like a stick up.

“Alright, go cook for me, my delicious servant.” She sits down and just watches her girlfriend frown and clench her jaw in frustration. For a moment she just stares at the cooking pancake and glares so hotly, Ali thinks it might actually burn the food. After a few seconds, when the room fills with only the sound of sizzling, Ashlyn dumps the still gooey breakfast item onto a plate and turns off the stove. Her hands are a blur as they tear off her apron.

“Screw it, you first.” Ashlyn hisses. She shoves Ali up against the dining table and Ali lets out a small cry of pain when her hand hits the edge hard enough to cause pain. She’s half leaning, half standing when Ashlyn bites her exposed shoulder and her hands find purpose (and no bra) under Ali’s (Ashlyn’s really) shirt.

“Ash...” She breathes. It’s meant to slow her down, to make her take pause hearing her own name but Ashlyn’s merciless, and her fingers dig into Ali’s hip, as if something were to come and tear her away at any moment, and Ashlyn was ready to hold on as tightly as possible. Ali breathes into Ashlyn’s hair. She sighs when Ashlyn reaches between her legs, and finds her through the fabric. Even that’s enough to send her soaring.

Ashlyn’s always had that effect.

Ali also knows that Ashlyn's never been the type to wake up early and cook breakfast. She's also not really into morning sex either. As her eyes roll up into her head, she spots the calendar on her fridge, a red "x" marked across the current day.

She's glad Ashlyn's mouth finds her ear when it does and robs her of any coherency because she was just about to calculate the hours they had left together.

 ~**~ 

Ashlyn usually loves the view of the ocean. But just seeing it makes her want to scream in frustration. It extended further than she could see, and she knows that she's going to be on the other side in less than a day. It wasn't fair, it wasn't even close to fair. She hates her contract, hates FIFA, hates that she moved thousands of miles away and just when it seemed like they were going to be OK, this happens. It's worse when she opens her computer and sees a dozen messages from friends, all saying the same thing,

 _"You're on the allocation list! Does that mean you're staying?"_ That list mocks her, laughs at her, and she punches the railing hard when she thinks about it.

"What did that ever do to you?" Ali's hand wraps around her quickly reddening knuckles and Ali presses her face into Ashlyn's neck. Her hair is wet, and still smells of hr shampoo. Ashlyn nuzzles her face.

"You're only going to have to shower again." She notes.

"Is that a promise?" Ali asks coyly. The smug, expectant look on her face makes Ashlyn laugh.

"We're going to the beach, remember?" Ali's expression drops, like she's disappointed that Ashlyn isn't going to take her right there again, over and over until she's sweaty and smells of sex instead of soap.

“Mm, right.” Ali murmurs into Ashlyn’s skin. She pulls herself away, and Ashlyn’s eyes follow her exposed legs all the way back into the room.

~**~

Her new tattoo makes it impossible for her to go into the ocean, so she covers it up with a towel and lies in the sun to tan. She knows it’ll be the last time she’ll get to feel these warm, almost overbearing rays. She lifts her head up to look at Ali, casually swimming in the water. Her skin glistens when she comes up for air, and she slicks her hair back. It’s hard for Ashlyn not to stare as she walked out of the ocean.

Ashlyn doesn’t have to look at other people to know they’re staring too. Ali’s legs go on for miles, especially given just how damn skimpy her bikini bottom is. If Ashlyn was in any way jealous, she would’ve run up and thrown a towel on her but instead she just watches Ali saunter over to her, lay down on top of her and kiss her deeply.

“What was that for?” Ashlyn asks after the kiss ends. Ali doesn’t move far, she lies on Ali’s chest and smiles at her.

“So everyone knows I’m yours.” She replies before rolling off. Ashlyn grins and rolls on top.

“What if they’re looking at me?” She teases before nibbling on Ali’s neck. Ali gasps on contact.

“Ashlyn there are people here…” She whispers but her smile reveals how little she actually cares. A year ago, if someone told Ashlyn that Ali would be ok with making out in public, on a beach where everyone in sight could see them, she would’ve laughed in their face.

“Well they’re rude for staring.” Ashlyn replies before bending down and kissing her on the mouth again. She lets her hips fall on top of Ali’s and their skin slides together. The umbrella offers some cover from the sun and prying eyes, but not really. So it makes Ashlyn’s jaw drop when Ali takes her hand and reaches in between their bodies, creeping ever lower.

“Alexandra Blaire Kreiger!” She exclaims, and it’s not the last time she says Ali’s name that hour.

They'd spent enough time apart, both literally and figuratively, for Ali to have picked up a few new tricks. Ashlyn refers to that time as the dark ages. It was when Ali was in Germany and she was in the states, when Ali refused to call and Ashlyn was too stubborn to pick up the phone first, and when Ashlyn punched a wall when she saw Ali wearing someone else's jersey in the same way she once wore Ali's jersey. Her coach berated her when she claimed she had just fallen. "A goalkeeper's hands are her life. You break your hand and you break your career." Ashlyn wanted to reply bitterly that there were other things broken that hurt more than a broken hand.

So when Ali touches her in a way she knew she learned with someone else her body tenses and fights against it at first. As if she could read her mind, Ali leans down.

“Only you.” She whispers into Ashlyn’s ear. “I’m only for you. Whatever...whatever I’ve done in the past, I’m all yours now.” Ashlyn runs her fingers through Ali’s long, wet, brown hair.

“Not here.” She says. “Let’s go back.” Ali understands all too well how hard Ashlyn works to smile and pretend that she’s alright. She knows Ashlyn’s gut reaction to showing how vulnerable she really is. They gather their things, and Ali presses her lips to Ashlyn’s tattooed shoulder before slipping her hand into Ashlyn’s.

 ~*~

It’s quiet and dark at home. The bed is unmade, the curtains drawn. When Ashlyn steps into the room everything else disappears from view except what’s just a foot away from her. She lets herself focus only on Ali, only on everything she can sense about her and nothing more. She lets Ali take her by the hand and coax her down onto the bed. Her legs straddle either side of her hip, and she lets Ali fall, like a feather twirling slowly to the ground, on top of her. She sucks in a breath and lets herself give in.

Ashlyn’s skin tastes like salt and her back still feels of sand grains. Ali dips her head in the crook of her neck and breathes in. The smell of ocean fills her nose and it’s troubling and comforting all at once. She’s been around Ashlyn long enough to know that she’ll always smell like the beach, it’s such a part of who she is, but where she’s going, there will be no crystal clear water, there will be no sand, no smell of hot, humid air or merciless rays of sunlight. She’s going back to Germany, and Ali…Ali will be left with everything that reminds her of Ashlyn but not the person herself.

Their thoughts match almost identically, but while Ali lingers and savors, Ashlyn cannot bear to be confronted with what she’s about to lose. She gently pushes Ali away from her.

“I can’t take missing you again..” Ashlyn whispers, her head tilted so that her cheek rests on Ali’s head. She pulls away and it just feels wrong not to be touching her, so Ali surges forward against Ashlyn and presses her whole body into her. She crushes her lips against Ashlyn’s and keeps a hand trained on her hip while she strips her of what little clothes she has on. Her fingertips brush the tattoo on her ribcage while Ashlyn makes quick work of Ali’s own swimwear, her fingers deft in undoing the knot without even looking. Ashlyn pulls away to look at Ali, completely bare to her, her eyes half lidded with sun fatigue and lust. She squeezes her eyes shut as a camera would, praying the image will last forever in her mind. When she opens her eyes again, Ali is biting her lip, and she can’t take anymore. Her mouth is everywhere at once, devouring her kiss by kiss, and she can’t think of a better way to lose herself.

“Ich liebe dich.” Ashlyn says. Her German is terrible, and Ali smiles adoringly at her like she’s a kid learning how to speak for the first time. Ashlyn doesn’t care. She kisses Ali’s lips, breaking every few seconds just to repeat her poorly pronounced, just-learned phrase. When she’s done making a linguistic fool of herself, Ali repeats it back to her like it’s supposed to be said over and over while Ashlyn’s lips find a better use than speaking. Ali continues chanting it until Ash’s fingers find her and she gasps it one last time before devolving into the most basic of languages - tiny whimpers, breathless gasps, Ashlyn’s name - and Ashlyn wants them to speak only in this tongue until the end of time.

Ali’s eyes squeeze shut and she utters a phrase Ashlyn knows all too well and they say it together, at the top of it all, two voices complementing and completing each other.

“Ich liebe dich.”

 ~*~

It’s late at night when they finally pull apart, sweaty, tired, but nowhere near sated. The clock reads 8, and Ashlyn’s stomach growls with hunger but she ignores it. She starts to drift off - Ali’s head resting on chest and Ali drawing circles on her stomach had always been the equivalent of horse tranquilizers to her - when Ali gently pats her awake.

“Please don’t sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ashlyn mumbles, shaking her head so that her eyes are clear again. “Sorry, I know it’s super early...”

“I mean, not tonight. Please don’t sleep tonight.” Ali buries her head under Ashlyn’s chin and squeezes her shoulder with her extended hand. It takes a moment for her request to sink in and just as Ashlyn understands it, Ali clarifies. “I don’t want to waste a second sleeping when I have to lose you again.”

“You’re not losing me.” Ashlyn replies.

“Please?”

"Ok." Ali fights to stay awake so that even if they're just lying there, staring at each other, it's another second, she's memorizing her face, another second that staves off forgetting the dimples on Ashlyn's cheeks.

Ashlyn traces the letters on Ali's tattoo over and over again, and Ali knows it'll be the first thing that fades from her mind. Skype will keep Ashlyn's face fresh in her memory, phone calls will make Ashlyn's voice the last to go. When she tastes the ocean, she'll taste Ashlyn's sun kissed skin, and when she eats mac and cheese she'll remember their thanksgiving meal together when Ashlyn chased her around the apartment with an open mouth of food. Ashlyn promised to leave her favorite goalkeeper jersey, so that on those nights when Ali's unbearably alone, she can wrap herself up in her scent and pretend that Ashlyn's right there with her.

But her touch...

There's no technology in the world, no amount of clothing she can leave that will replicate her touch.

She lifts herself off of Ashlyn just a little so that her chin hovers just over her chest and Ashlyn regards her quizzically.

“Promise you won’t find some other pretty german girl?” She asks and Ashlyn balks at her like it’s the most ridiculous thing that she’s ever said. It’s second only to when Ali first asked her if she really was in love with her.

“You’re the only german girl for me.”

“Or girl in general.” Ali breaks into a pained smile and Ashlyn, knowing exactly where her mind is going, flips the two of them so that she’s on top. She stares into Ali’s eyes for a long time before responding.

“Alexandra Blaire Krieger, you are the only person in the universe for me.” It’s enough for her. Ali loops her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and pulls her into another kiss. She practically sighs against Ashlyn’s lips and lets the all too short night begin.

When they drift off, despite fighting, despite copious amounts of caffiene and determination, Ali's "Liebe" tattoo is the last thing Ashlyn sees before she closes her eyes. And she knows it'll be there when she wakes up in the morning; at least for one more time.


End file.
